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i am hui wey

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Midnight.

I just can't fall asleep. 

Something else flying in my mind. 
A lil bit confuse and I've no idea what to do. 
What's the best for you ?
What the best I can do to make us feel better?
IMYDYKT
IAACB

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Status to blog post~有些人 有些事

thought of updating my facebook status and end up i'm here writing the blog~LOL
不知道為什麼
但腦海裡就是有好多好多
說出了從未告訴任何人的一些心底話
感覺好像輕鬆了一些
也好像更知道
更確定自己的想法
人總是不斷的在經歷很多事情
不斷地成長
謝謝




所有的人
曾經給過我的一切
無論好壞與否
都是成長經歷的一部分

很多時候
身不由己
不是說想做真的自己
就可以毫不顧慮其他身邊人
然後就去做

如何端橫
全看自身

Thursday, August 27, 2015

20150827

搭了凌晨1點的班機從馬來西亞飛到韓國首爾。

上機前其實有瞬間蠻難過的
看著父母還有好朋友在登機門口向我微笑揮手說著再見保重其實覺得很不捨。
但每次回去唸書也會有這樣的感覺。
但這有點忐忑的心情抵達韓國
看到美美的SMU BUDDY舉著寫著我名字的牌子來接我,心裡好像有比較踏實一點。
去到了宿舍,發現當初選擇的兩人房變成了三人房,放東西的位子和桌子都沒有。當下有點錯愕,詢問工作人員是否能夠換房間。
還好最後成功了,但就是孤零零一個人住咯。
宿舍網路好爛
沒辦法好好和家人好友聯絡有點小難過
然後錢一直燒更難過
好吧
語言不通真的很煩很挫敗很不方便
姊會好好學習韓文的
加油好嗎
未來請多指教
祝我一切順利
😁😅🙏🏼💪🏼

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

LONG LOST UPDATE FROM ME! =)

it's been two erm almost three months since my last updated post !
just too lazy and too busy for that =)
ahaa
and now~
to be conclude i'm actually quite satisfied with my recent life
just had the wonderful 21st birthday celebrations with friends and family~
trip to bkk with the gang
and penang girls trip
but
there's always some imperfections in the perfections
don't feel like emphasising on it
i believe in karma
so i'll just wait and see what is(are) your punishment(s)
let's skip the unhappy and disgusting part and focus on the happy cheerful one =)
seriously
i'm glad to have a bunch of best friends in my entire life
not to mention about the thoughtfulness party and surprises
when i am super down
down to the lowest ebb
i realised that
the closest friends around me were trying their best to console me
lend me their ears
even if i don't feel like talking about that
they'll still give me the mentally support
i know i'm not alone
thanks for all the considerate thoughtful words
thanks for all the kind acts which make smile
thanks for trying hard to cheer me up
i'm blessed
and i truly appreciate all of these
you guys make me feel like i'm the most blessing girl in this world
thanks to him
i know i've seriously made you really worried about me
i'm so so so so sorry for that
i just don't feel like talking
don't feel like smiling
and don't even have the appetite to eat in that few days
i know you were there for me
so sorry to let you worry and tried all the ways just to make me feel better while you're still busy with you works
i just won't ever , never ever forget your words
felt so touched when i read the text
thanks! love you deep deep wo de dear =( awhh~




i miss you =(
leaving soon
counting down to the brand new adventurous life =)
new semmmm
awhh
god blessed me won't get myself lost in Seoul kay?
hahas!



so that's all~
the little updates about my recent life =)
a lil records for myself to view back in the future =)


Sunday, May 10, 2015

母親節

其實

我沒有想像中堅強
其實
我沒有看起來的樂觀
其實
我真的很想任性的就這樣買機票回家
其實
提點都不是沒關係
其實
真的好痛
其實
真的會默默自己一個人躺在床上掉淚
很無奈
沒辦法走路
很餓
但沒辦法買東西吃
很想自己煮
但卻沒辦法洗
很想洗頭
但沒辦法
很想好好的洗澡
但沒辦法
和家人說沒事不痛
其實卻不是那麼一回事
出國唸書
真的沒有比較好
躺在床上無法動彈
看著腳上的傷口
滑著臉書和IG
看著所有人和媽咪一起慶祝
這就是我2015的母親節



擔心著會留下醜醜的疤痕😭😭😭
我想回家。
不想堅強了可以嗎

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Adjustment , adaptive ? hmm

So~~~
it's April of year 2015 now
and the 8th academy week is coming~~~~
which means mid-term is coming
as usual , there's ton of assignments , shooting , reports , presentations etc to be done
was in the super fidgety condition before this
but after having the spring break for 5days
went to taipei to meet the lovely oneeee
and watched amei's concert
had a very cheerful and relax spring break~~~
i feel much more better now
it's the adjustment of the mood
and yourself
i mean me myself
hmm
hope that this mood can last longer and until this sem finish
haha
just try my best to be optimistic
and
alright
let's work hard and KO all the works now!!!
jiayouhuiwey =)


oh ya this's the random picture i took while i was out for my photography shooting assignment ;p
smile like a baby
and
baby smile's always melt my heart =)


Monday, March 16, 2015

i wanna be your favourite hello and hardest goodbye

busy life has begun
tonnes of works and assignments and activities coming
time management is important
i always know this , but i always get stress even i've arranged everything and write out my schedule


keep playing the song by alin
i don't know why
she just sing into my heart
the lyrics
even karen mok can't do this

i've no idea why every relationships will be so complicated
i'm not good enough for people to treasure me ?
i've no idea
i just dislike the phrase
"let's wait and see"
"i'm not gonna get into a relationship for now"
"you're good enough"


the person i want
and
the person that wants me

it's always the different people
ahaaa
whateverrrr


i want to get rid of all these


真的很討要曖昧

不認真就不要來惹我好嗎?

我真的很輕易就認真了。

weakness
依舊還是懦弱。



Thursday, March 12, 2015

純粹想寫


之前有好長一段時間不太常寫部落格。
或許太忙
或許懶散
或許不想

但最近
有任何事情
都只想寫在這
記錄下來
不是給任何人看
只是單純的想記錄下來


開學才剛過完第三週
我真的好想離開這裡
寒假新年回家只有短短的五天
搭上回台灣的飛機時
心裡好多的不捨
這是續2012年第一次獨自搭飛機到台灣唸書後第一次忍不住在飛機上默默掉淚。
紅著眼眶,告訴自己。
還是得習慣的,這是自己的選擇,這是人生的要走的路。

最近寒流來了
氣溫一下子降到攝氏6-7度而已
每天都飄著細雨,吹著冷風。
無論穿多厚,身子骨不太好的我
還是病了
腸胃炎。感冒。
都一起找上我。


生病了
我不想吃
我沒胃口
我EQ變低
我心情不好
我覺得看什麼都不順眼
我覺得吃什麼都不好吃
我不會感覺到餓
我只想回家
我想吃媽咪煮的粥
我想喝媽咪煲的湯
我什麼都不想做



有時候
獨立久了
會想說

我可以不要堅強嗎
我可以不要什麼都自己來嗎
我可以有個依靠的人嗎
我可以找個讓我亂發脾氣也不在乎的人嗎
我可以鬧脾氣嗎
我可以把自己的情緒都宣洩出來嗎

覺得生病的自己變得特別難搞
感覺想要的很簡單
但其實很難



想要一個認真對我好的
想要一個可以忍受我所有壞脾氣的
想要一個能接受我所有負面情緒的
想要一個真心愛我的
想要一個可以安慰我的
想要一個可以接納我所有一切的
想要一個包容我的
想要一個勇敢的
想要一個主動的
想要一個認真的
想要一個清楚的

想要那樣的一個人。


fed up

i don't really know the reasons
it's because i've got too much pressures recently?
it's because i'm sick so my EQ became much more lower than what i usually has?
it's because i'm really feel sick of the things and people here?


for me ,
some of the lecturers here are really excellent educator
they're good lecturers

for me ,
most of the students here are just ....
i'd don't know what words can be use to describe them
i've totally no idea


if you wanna own that glories and good reputation
please show us what a good leader is
don't act like a childish girls
don't show your princess tempered
don't show me your immature mind
it's ridiculous for me
like serious

i was a leader
while i was studying in secondary school and even primary school
i can't say that i'm a good leader in every aspects
but at least i've tried my best

as a leader
you've to show your well-mannered
i'm totally speechless bout all this SO CALLED LEADERS==


seriously fed up with most of the people here
i just don't know why
what your pass educations have did to you?
what kind of education can create the people like this?
goshhhh
at this moment ,
i feel cherish that i'm a malaysian
i accepted the education from there
thanks god.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

study abroad

most of the people think that study abroad is fun , it's way more interesting compare to studying in local universities or colleges.

as a student who study abroad for my degree now , i would like to say
it's not that fun as the others think
so
maybe
we'll get the better educations in the foreign countries
we'll meet a lot of nice and excellent lecturers
we'll meet a lot of classmates / friends from all around the world
we can travel around in the foreign country~
but
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
for sure
i considered bout all those aspects before i decided to study abroad
you've to overcome the pressures , from all the aspects
you've to learn to be REALLY independent
you've to learn to solve all the problems by yourself NO MATTER WHAT'S THAT
you've to overcome those moment when you're having homesick especially during those special festivals and seeing all the friends posting the pictures , status etc at the social network
you've to clearly understand that you don't have the backers and supporters here
you've no rights to be wilful
you're no longer a princess or prince here
you can't find the people who grow up with you ( bffs ) and the people who willing to love you unconditionally ( family ) 
all you have to face here 
are
the difficulties
the obstacles
the challenges
all kind of weirdos
all the shitty things
the pressures
the madness
everything you expected and unexpected



sometimes i'll think that
is it better to study in local universities or colleges rather to study abroad?
i don't think i can give you a standard answer
no one can i think

Sunday, March 1, 2015

對的時間點很重要

覺得有好多話想說
但真的不知道從何說起&如何開口
一直都知道在愛情這方面自己不是能夠主動的女生
總是在錯的時間遇到合適的人
在對的時間卻遇到不太合適的....
如果給你選
你會選最愛的那個
還是
知道他是可以&適合陪你走完這一輩子的人?
如果給你選
你會選你愛他比較多的那位
還是
他愛你比較深的那位?
被愛&愛人
都是幸福的吧?

那天和你談了之後
想了好多
晚上和她談了之後
仔細想了更多


感覺有些事情錯過了就是一輩子了

你知道嗎?
曾經我也想過

覺得自己還是沒辦法放下身段去示弱
說我倔強嗎?
其實某些時候不得不承認
我是個固執的女孩

希望有人可以管的著我
用我能夠接受的方法
我其實不是不喜歡受到束縛
只是
有的時候我吃軟不吃硬
你不能跟我硬碰硬
不然我會反抗的更激烈
很多時候
同樣的事情
換個說話的態度&解決方式
我就會乖乖地聽話了

有的時候
我是可以接受的

很多時候
自己一個人在異國唸書
想家了
生病了
心累了
委屈了
不舒服
很難過
只希望有個人
即使我不說
他也懂
他也會默默地傳個安慰的訊息過來
讓我知道
我還是有人疼愛的
讓我記得
溫暖的溫度


對我來說
談戀愛
並非必須每天都膩在一起

兩個人相愛
在一起
信任比任何東西都重要

就算很久不見面

你知道的
在彼此心中
都為對方保留一個特別的位置

就算有異性的好朋友
但你就是直到
他不會背著你做些讓你不開心的事情

愛情不是佔有

長大了
很多想法都不同了
有比較成熟嗎?
我不知道
可能需要問問身邊陪我一起經歷很多
看著我一路走來
不多成長的他們吧

以前覺得不可能的事情
現在好像都是有可能發生的

找一個你了解他
他也了解你的
才可以長久的走下去

不得不承認
在這方面
我是個死心眼的女孩

一段感情
希望雙方都可以好好經營
好好溝通
好好瞭解對方需要的
不是小心翼翼
可以吵架
但不要太頻密
一定要和好

不把“分手”掛嘴邊
偶爾可以耍耍性子
但多了
無論是誰
都會受不了

任何事情都要求證
不是懷疑
是信任

不要小心翼翼
怕對方生氣
而是去觀察
去了解

不要認定說
你覺得對方不會喜歡你這樣
你就不去做
或許
她就是一直都在等

等你開口
等你的下一步

不問
你永遠都不會知道

有很多的事情
就是這樣

錯過了

Monday, February 23, 2015

2015的寒假

六天的假期就這樣結束了。

每次回家其實都很累,要轉很多的交通工具。
但,心情是愉悅的。
我有一個月的寒假,但我只回家六天。
留下來幫忙學長姊的畢製。
很多人問我怎麼那麼傻有假期都不回家留下來做這些有的沒有。朋友也問我留下來寒假回家的時間就只剩6天。有後悔嗎?
我的答案是很堅決的「沒有」
雖然很累,雖然是小螺絲,做著看起來無關緊要的事情。
但從旁觀察,自己參與其中,我真的學習到很多。
這些難得的事物,應該是我沒有留下來就不會有機會體會到的吧。

可能因為這次的回去的時間太短暫了。
回來的時候心情真的很沈重~
太多的不捨,太多的不如意。第一次覺得不太想回來想無限期放寒假。
第一次回到家沒辦法好好跟媽咪聊聊上學期所有的事情。
第一次回家會覺得時間超級緊迫,很累。永遠無法好好休息的感覺。
第一次回馬來西亞,沒把想吃的都吃完:(
撇開2012年第一次自己一個人離家離開父母獨自到台灣求學。
今天,很不爭氣的我在關丹飛往吉隆坡的班機上默默地掉眼淚了。
有時候會問自己當初為什麼要選擇離家那麼遠的地方求學?
有時候會問自己現在的這一切都是值得的嗎?
有時候會問自己把自己搞得那麼累那麼辛苦是值得的嗎?
有時候會問自己⋯⋯⋯⋯
但卻從來沒想過放棄。
Chase my dreams and hit the goal. 
想回家不想自己一個人待在只有自己的房間。
好安靜好空虛好寂寞好冷。
想念馬來西亞的38度。
不喜歡這冷冰冰的16度。
外面放著絢麗的煙火,熱鬧的鞭炮聲不斷的響起。
但這一切都與我無關。
我就是一個置身於這一切之外的人。



衷心希望這學期一切順利順心。
希望有那麼一個人可以抱抱我對我說我已經很棒了。
媽咪,我好想你。
想抱抱你,跟你聊聊天。沒營養的話題也一樣很開心。
這一刻,好希望家人能夠出現在我面前。
我會好好加油的。

Saturday, January 3, 2015

2015

the first post of year 2015
i've to say it again~
it's been a long long time since i last updated my blog~
been busy bout all the stuffs and assignment since i start the first sem of year two~
it's a tough sem tough year =(
many things happened~
unhappy more than the happy one~
but~i've learn and grew up from each of the incident~
so it's consider the good part of the worst case right?ahaaa
just hope that 2015 will be a slightly better than year 2014~
that's enough for me =)



最近常想........
想嘗試一個人的旅行
一個人出走~
寒假的第一個禮拜~
決定啦!
慧媁加油!

Monday, August 25, 2014

that's it

having summer break
was travelling around with the buddies and roommates before this
was quite satisfied with everything
but recently
my mood just so down
i just dislike it and i don't feel like saying because i hope that you can realize it
but then...
okay
i told myself just let it be
hah!
i'm so ridiculous
i thought it'll be hurt for you and i just keep thinking bout that
who knows?
maybe you feel glad for what i did!
so
just let it continue to be like this
don't blame me for what i'm doing now
it's you who force me and agree me to do like this
that's it

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Preoccupation•endless

It's been a very long time since I last update my blog. 

Was very busy for the endless assignments and reports + mid term exam before this. 
And now. 
Great
Problems came when it comes to group assignments. 
Especially film shooting. 
Like serious. 
I let everyone to choose their own jobs at first. 
So you should be responsible for your own job right?
Don't tell me I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO. it's like what the fuck are you talking bout? Hey. Come on! It's uni life d dude! Can you just learn when you don't know? Like I know everything! Wth. It's the most irresponsible sentence I've ever heard in this world! Everyone is busy for their own works too. 
Once we discussed. Decided. Then the plan on. 
How can you deny it on the other day?!
I'd settled everything with the person. 
It's like3@(@,&('dogkgsj!!!!
Money?! That moment when you chosen this course , you'd knew its a "money-burnt-course"
I've tried my very best to save money. Low cost production!
What else you want?!
Can you just tell me? Dahell!!
Or just kill me!
Do you know what it means by corporate? Group assignment?
Hello! The world is hot turning around you okay?
Be considerate~ grow up d little girl!
You're so annoying and made everyone frustrated! 
Every night I'm insomnia once I think bout all this! It's pressuring okay?
Can you please just let go of me?
Please. Beg you! Give us more cooperation...




It's some kind of feelings that so called not reconciled?
I thought I won before this. 
Because she's the one who came in late. The late comer. 
She joined you "now" and maybe "future"? But I thought at least I own your "past"
And now. I knew I'm completely a loser. 
What am I thinking?
I'm so ridiculous !:(

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

FEBRUARY

February is going to end real soon
it's week two of sem two
everything's still alright
but i just dislike the freezing weather
aihxxxx
busy
filled all the time with works , studies , activities and assignments
and i won't have that US time to think bout those bla bla bla thingys =)
looking forward to the trip with my dearest crazy dear dear this weekends =)
wheeeeeeeeeeeeee

Friday, January 17, 2014

Talk.

Went out with my best bro. 

Talk bout a lot of things. 
He met some serious problems bout his relationship too. 
Yet I can't really give him any useful suggestions. 
What I did is just analyze the things to him at the position of a girl. 
No matter what happened. 
No matter what decision you've made. 
I'll always be there for you:)
I'll always support you. 
I'll always be your best listener if you wish to. 
Yet my own problem haven't settle...
Like
LOL
okay. 
Jump out from the box
Walk out from the memories
Stop it all
Time time time
Let it fade
Let it fade 
Let it fade. 

Safe flight. 

I hope I can sleep tightly tonight -.-

家•馬來西亞。愛•再見。

我媽問我為甚麼我每次都在感情路上遇到鳥人鳥事。怎麼那麼坎坷呀孩子?哈哈!我笑了>< 無奈⋯我也不知道呀~~~

這是第一次,無法對媽媽毫無保留的坦誠事情的經過。

或許有一天,當我釋懷了。

我會告訴她。

其實他們都不是鳥人

只是沒辦法與我有良好的溝通。

其實那些都不是鳥事

至少曾經有過甜蜜的回憶,傷心流淚的部分就當做是成長的一個樂章吧。

還是得感謝他們。


我媽說,千萬別拿別人的缺點,別咬著別人的不是當作是攻擊他,與他談判的籌碼。


我心裡想的也是,凡事不必趕盡殺絕,留條後路,給自己與他人。

畢竟曾經用心經營。

畢竟曾經愛過。

不是嗎




好久

好久

好久



明明就沒談過戀愛,至少沒有正式的一場戀愛。

明明就沒有過任何初戀。

但為甚麼我覺得我好累了。

好滄桑哦:(

不想了。



自己一個人,其實也可以很好。

不是嗎?



Monday, January 13, 2014

放過自己和別人

老實說,當我把信息傳送出去的那一刻。我的心情真的好複雜。

好不捨。但不想再這樣下去。
看了你的回信,腦海裡就一直重複播映我們相處的點點滴滴。
去到我們一起走過的地方,我會想起當時的情況。
短短半年,放手不是那麼容易。
但,我心裡的糾結一直在。
愛一定要那麼苦嗎?
是我的問題吧?
對不起。
在乎一個人,不會讓他絞盡腦汁一直猜測你的心思。
還是或許我不夠體貼,從沒站在你的角度去思考?
我每次都說自己要求的不多,但是否真的不多?
我說我縱容你,但是否其實你也一直這樣對我?
說好的兩年時間了解呢?
我們都沒對彼此敞開心房,是這樣嗎?
還是其實一開始就是個錯誤?
才半年時間,我們都讓彼此覺得委屈了。
你覺得,我們真的可以再繼續走下去嗎?
這是一直盤旋在我腦海裡的問題⋯

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Insomnia.

PContinuously insomnia for a few nights. 

I don't know why. 
It didn't happened since the day I've started to busy for all my assignments reports film shooting bla bla bla. 
Too many things to think or I slept too much recently?
Did I?
Whatever. 
I slept on 9am yesterday. 
And now. 430am I'm still awake. 
Wth
I've classes for one whole day tmrw
And yet
I need to rush my final assignments + revisions. Oh gosh. 
Can I just slap myself and let myself faint now?-.-
Sleep please!
Tqvm